My Spouse Won't Agree to a Divorce

What Makes a Divorce Contested in Virginia

A divorce is contested when the spouses disagree on at least one issue the court must decide. That can be the grounds for divorce, property and debts, spousal support, or custody, visitation and child support. The Fairfax Circuit Court's divorce guide describes a contested case as one with no separation agreement, or with issues left for the court.

In Virginia, divorces are heard in the Circuit Court, and a judge decides them, not a jury (§ 20-96). In Fairfax County, that is the Circuit Court at 4110 Chain Bridge Road.

Your Spouse Cannot Block the Divorce by Refusing to Sign

Virginia does not require both spouses to agree to a divorce. Under § 20-91(A)(9), either spouse can ask for a no-fault divorce after living apart for the required time. "No-fault" means neither spouse has to prove misconduct.

• One year apart: the general rule.
• Six months apart: only with a signed separation agreement and no minor children. If your spouse will not sign an agreement, the one-year period generally applies.

At least one spouse must also have lived in Virginia for at least six months before filing (§ 20-97). Whatever the spouses cannot settle, the judge decides. A refusal to sign can make the case longer, but it does not keep the marriage in place.

No-Fault and Fault Grounds for Divorce

Besides the no-fault ground, § 20-91 lists fault grounds. As amended effective July 1, 2026, they are:

• Adultery that happened before the spouses' last separation, or sodomy or buggery outside the marriage.
• A felony conviction after the marriage, with a sentence over one year and actual confinement. It applies only if the spouses did not live together again once the other knew of the confinement.
• Cruelty, reasonable apprehension of bodily hurt, or willful desertion or abandonment. A divorce on these grounds can be granted only after one year from the act.

Fault grounds need more proof. Under § 20-99, a fault divorce cannot be granted on the spouses' testimony alone; it needs corroboration, meaning other supporting evidence. The court also considers why the marriage ended when dividing property (§ 20-107.3(E)) and deciding spousal support (§ 20-107.1).

Since July 1, 2026, a spouse can also file for a divorce from bed and board after separating, with no waiting period to file (§ 20-95). It is a limited divorce: neither spouse may remarry while the other is alive (§ 20-116). In a case filed on fault grounds, either spouse can ask for a no-fault divorce once the separation period passes, without amending the complaint (§ 20-121.02).

Which grounds fit a case depends on its facts and the proof available. Our team can review that with you.

If You Were Served With Divorce Papers

Being "served" means you were formally given the summons and the Complaint for Divorce. The complaint says what your spouse is asking the court to do. The summons explains the deadline to respond.

How Service Happens

Under § 8.01-296, the papers can be:

• Handed to you in person.
• Left at your usual home with a family member age 16 or older who lives there, if you are not found there.
• Posted on the main door of your home, if neither of those works, with a copy mailed to you.
• Published in a newspaper by court order, when a spouse lives outside Virginia or cannot be found (§ 20-104).

A sheriff's deputy or a private process server usually delivers the papers and files a record of the date and manner of service.

The 21-Day Deadline to Respond

Under Rule 3:8 of the Rules of the Supreme Court of Virginia, a defendant generally has 21 days after service to respond. The response is written and filed in the clerk's office. The usual response is an answer. An answer must address the paragraphs of the complaint; a general denial of everything is not allowed.

In the same 21 days, a defendant can also file a counterclaim (Rule 3:9). A counterclaim asks the court for the defendant's own relief, such as support or a share of property. The Fairfax fee schedule lists no fee for a divorce counterclaim.

What Happens If You Do Not Respond

A defendant who does not respond on time is in default (Rule 3:19). A defendant in default is generally not entitled to notice of later proceedings. If you were served in person, the court can hear the evidence and enter orders, including the final decree, without further notice to you (§ 20-99). Your spouse can then prove a no-fault divorce by affidavit (§ 20-106).

A divorce is still decided on evidence, not on the default alone (§ 20-99; Rule 3:19). Before the final order, a judge may allow a late response for good cause, but that is up to the judge.

An Acceptance of Service Is Not an Agreement

Your spouse or their lawyer may ask you to sign an acceptance of service instead of using a sheriff. This is often form CC-1406, signed under oath before an official authorized to give oaths, such as a deputy clerk (§ 20-99.1:1). Signing it confirms that you received the papers. On its own, it does not mean you agree with the complaint.

Read every box before signing. CC-1406 also lets a person waive the 21-day response period and notice of later hearings, depositions and the final decree. The form states that checking those boxes gives up the right to be notified of those events.

First Calm Steps

People who have just been served often find these steps useful:

• Read everything, including any motion or hearing notice attached.
• Write down the date of service. Count 21 days from it, and note any hearing date separately.
• Gather documents: pay stubs, tax returns, account statements, debts, and any orders or agreements.
• Leave marital assets alone. Wasting marital funds in anticipation of divorce, or after separating, is a factor when property is divided (§ 20-107.3(E)).
• Keep the case offline. Messages and social media posts can become evidence.
• Follow any court order. Willfully disobeying one can be punished as contempt of court.
• Do not sign what you do not understand, such as a proposed decree or a separation agreement.

Temporary Orders While the Case Is Pending

During the case, either spouse can ask for temporary orders. They are called "pendente lite" orders, meaning "while the suit is pending." Under § 20-103, the court can order:

• Temporary spousal support and child support, including health insurance.
• Who pays the mortgage, car loans and other debts.
• Exclusive use and possession of the family home during the case.
• Steps to preserve each spouse's assets until the final decree.
• Money to help a spouse carry on the suit, such as attorney's fees.
• Temporary custody and visitation.

Temporary spousal support starts from a formula in § 20-103 when the spouses' combined monthly gross income is $10,000 or less. A temporary order does not decide the final result (§ 20-103(J)).

The Fairfax Circuit Court's Pro Se Divorce brochure says temporary custody hearings are held only in an extreme emergency. It also notes that exclusive use of the home does not decide who owns it. Separately, the court can exclude a spouse from the home when the other shows a reasonable apprehension of physical harm (§ 20-103(B)).

How a Contested Divorce Moves Through Fairfax Circuit Court

A contested Fairfax divorce generally moves through these stages:

1. Complaint and service. One spouse files the complaint with the Civil Intake Division and has it served. The filing fee is $94 under the fee schedule effective October 1, 2026.
2. Answer and counterclaim. The other spouse responds within 21 days. Fairfax places every divorce on the Domestic Track of its Case Status Team, which manages deadlines and scheduling.
3. Temporary motions. Motions both sides can argue in 30 minutes or less go on the Friday Civil Motions docket; contested domestic motions are heard at 11:30 a.m. Longer hearings are set through Calendar Control.
4. Discovery. Each side can ask the other for information. The tools include written questions (interrogatories), document requests, requests for admission and depositions, meaning sworn testimony before trial (Rule 4:1).
5. Settlement efforts. Spouses can negotiate at any time, directly or through lawyers or a mediator. The court can refer a contested civil case to a dispute resolution orientation session; mediation after that is voluntary (§ 8.01-576.5).
6. Setting the trial. Fairfax sets trial dates at Civil Term Day, normally the fourth Monday of each month. A trial date is continued only for good cause.
7. Trial and final decree. The judge hears testimony and rules on each contested issue. The Fairfax brochure says that with minor children, one hearing is set for custody and visitation and another for property and support.

The same brochure says a contested case "will usually take much longer than six months."

Property, Support and Children

Dividing Property and Debts

Virginia uses equitable distribution (§ 20-107.3). The court first classifies property as separate, marital or part of each. Separate property generally includes what a spouse owned before the marriage and gifts or inheritances from others. Marital property generally includes what either spouse acquired during the marriage, before the last separation.

The court then values the property and weighs 11 factors in the statute. They include each spouse's contributions, the length of the marriage, why the marriage ended and any waste of marital assets. The statute sets no fixed percentage. The court can divide jointly owned property, order a monetary award and divide the marital share of retirement benefits.

Spousal Support

Final spousal support has no formula. The judge weighs the factors in § 20-107.1 and, in a contested Circuit Court case, must explain the decision in writing. Our spousal support guide explains it in more depth.

Children

Custody and visitation are decided on the child's best interests, and child support starts from Virginia's guidelines (§ 20-108.2). Our custody battle guide explains how Fairfax courts handle custody.

When a Contested Divorce Becomes Uncontested

Contested cases can settle at any stage, even close to trial. The Fairfax Circuit Court notes that it arranges its docket on the assumption that most cases will settle.

If a written agreement resolves every issue, a no-fault divorce can proceed on affidavits, generally without a hearing in Fairfax (§ 20-106). The court can incorporate the agreement into the final decree (§ 20-109.1). Our separation agreement guide explains what an agreement usually covers, and our uncontested divorce guide explains how a fully agreed case finishes.

How First Point Can Help

First Point Law Group has served individuals and families from Fairfax since 2004. Our family law team handles contested divorces in Fairfax and Northern Virginia courts. That work includes answering a complaint, temporary support hearings, discovery, negotiation and trial. Because our firm also practices immigration law, we can look at how a divorce may affect a spouse's immigration case.

Bring these to a consultation:

• The complaint, summons and other court papers, with the date and manner of service.
• Your date of marriage and date of separation.
• Any agreements, signed or draft, including a prenuptial agreement.
• Recent pay stubs and tax returns for both spouses, if you have them.
• Account statements, a list of debts, and deeds, titles and mortgage statements.
• Your children's names and birth dates, and any custody, support or protective orders.
• Immigration documents, if either spouse's status depends on the marriage.